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It’s easy to gauge this reality on the website Candle for Love (CFL), devoted to helping US Americans bring their loved ones over from China.CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.

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Off the top of my head, I can think of Rachel De Woskin’s Foreign Babes in Beijing: Behind the Scenes of a New China and Repeat After Me: A Novel, Nicole Mones’ Lost in Translation, and Pearl S. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples?

thai esquites, sweet corn, tom yum broth, red curry aioli, cotija grilled carrots “elote,” honey butter, lime crema, coriander, feta, dill blistered shishito peppers, spicy watermelon, queso fresco, almonds, tequila vin.

fried Brussels sprouts, strawberries, currants, sunflower seeds, sweet-spicy vin.

When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.

It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.

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